Granma got a nice Christmas gift from her Granddaughter. She sent Granm a cozy blanket, a pair of gloves and the "magic slippers". I'm calling them magic because she was able to get them on her feet.
Now mind you.....the slippers were a bit on the small size but that did not deter Granma. Nope. As I sat there watching her push and prod her size 8 foot into the size 5 slipper I mentioned that they might be to small. Hmmmmm....I'm think'n that was the wrong thing to say. Why? I got the "Look" and a garbled but emphatic statement...something like...."NOOOOOO they aren't"
With all the umph she could muster...... finally........the magic slipper was on.
Now for the other one.
It all reminded me of Cinderella. Not to say that Granma is one of the ugly stepsisters. But I'm just say'n.
I'm just say'n......It's all Good! Granma walked like a princess to her room and went to bed with her magic slippers on.
Friday, December 24, 2010
CHOCOLATY DELICACIES
Granma got some Christmas gifts. Have I mentioned she has a sweet tooth? Nooooo.... I mean a REAL sweet tooth? If she could, I'm sure she'd eat sweets in any shape, size or form all day long. She got some Frango's and are they ever yummy. She's able to pop those in her mouth, no problem. Well......getting the cellophane wrapping off poses a slight problem, but not enough to discourage the Mighty Sweet Tooth Granma. No sir she'd eat that whole box of Frangos in one day if I let her. Now the other candies she received.....well lets just say she's a bit more choosy about which selection she makes from the assorted confectioneries. Here's her fool proof testing method.....She makes a selection, puts it between her pointer finger and thumb and gives it a good 'ole squeeze. If it doesn't smush she puts it back in the box and tries for one that does....smush, that is. I have a pretty good sweet tooth myself but after Granma's tried to smush up every piece of candy in the box I think I'll just step on back and let her have her way with those chocolaty delicacies.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
A RANDOM QUESTION
Our niece Megan came to stay with us for the weekend. She comes to help me decorate for Christmas. At the end of our day we sat down to a candle light dinner, Megan, Chuck, Granma Marcie and Me and of course Grace E. (under the table). After dinner we always have the greatest conversations with Granma. Here, she and Megan are having a nice chat.........Granma asked Megan, "ARE YOU MARRIED?" I wish I had a picture of Megan's face. She said very politely, "Nooooooooooooooo I'm only 12" Granma said, "Mmmmmmmhmmmmmm" I said, "Granma, she's only twelve" Granma said, "Mmmmmmmmmhmmmmmm" Then Megan asked Granma, "How old are you?" Granma answered, "I'm 94" Noooooooo Granma you're 103 to which she replied "I'M 94!!!!!!" Then she asked Megan, "ARE YOU MARRIED?" We just laughed. What can ya say? So we told Granma it was bedtime and to say goodnight. So she did. Good Night Granma. Sweet Dreams.
Friday, November 12, 2010
A Simple Prayer
I've been caring for Granma for 2 months. I am keenly aware of my moods, attitudes and lack there of. I've been trouble by what I see.
God is good! All the time! God is good! God is steadfast. God is the same yesterday, today and forever. He doesn't change.
Attitudes and feelings are sure fickle. Some days I'm patient, some days I'm not. Some days I'm loving and then again some days I'm not. I wasn't liking the days that I was short tempered, cranky, resentful and just plain ole not very nice.
Do you know about that "still small voice" Some people call it a conscious.....I call it God.
I know the rotten attitude has to go, but sometimes I think I'm justified. I mean after all Granma does some pretty gross and disgusting things and where ever I am, there she is. You'd probably feel the same way right?
Whether it's right, justified or just human behavior ......it's wrong. God was "tickling my ears'....don't you love that....."tickling my ears" ..... got that from the Bible. The attitudes are not right, and I know it. But I wasn't serious about doing anything about it. Well, I shoot up quick little arrow prayers. You know the kind ....."Oh God this is disgusting....please help me!"
A few weeks back I wrote about Granma looking in the mirror....wondering what she saw as she primped and smoothed out her non existent eyebrows .....I asked myself .....when you look in the mirror Susie, what do you see?
Once again God uses Granma to get my attention.
Last night I said a simple prayer straight from the heart that God was piercing.
In the wee hours of the morning the baby monitor tells me that Granma is up. I drag myself out of bed to see what she's up to. And God, who is so faithful and so full of mercy, gave me a "new attitude in my mind" Through Him all things are possible.....even cleaning up poopy messes at OH Dark Thirty. Who can be happy about that? ME!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm excited. I am so excited! and I am so thankful that my God is ALIVE AND WELL. All glory and honor go to my Mighty God!
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Stinky
I love the name Stinky.This isn't Stinky......this is Grace E. our Wheaton Terrier. She loves going into Granma's room and hiding out underneath her bed.....but......that's not the story.
There was a stink coming from Granma's room. After taking her to the bathroom and expecting a horrible mess in her diaper........after giving her a shower and expecting her bottom to be all messy poo-poo........after checking her sheets and expecting them to be dirty yucky........after checking all drawers, closets, nooks and crannies, expecting to find a nasty stash of disposable diaper..............I discovered the smell wasn't coming from our Granma........After further investigation.....Grace E. was fart'n up a storm under Granma's bed.
Doesn't she look remorseful? Ashamed? Sorry? Embarrassed? I think she was. I was too.......cause I was thinking it was Granma. Shame on me. I'm sorry Granma!
There was a stink coming from Granma's room. After taking her to the bathroom and expecting a horrible mess in her diaper........after giving her a shower and expecting her bottom to be all messy poo-poo........after checking her sheets and expecting them to be dirty yucky........after checking all drawers, closets, nooks and crannies, expecting to find a nasty stash of disposable diaper..............I discovered the smell wasn't coming from our Granma........After further investigation.....Grace E. was fart'n up a storm under Granma's bed.
Doesn't she look remorseful? Ashamed? Sorry? Embarrassed? I think she was. I was too.......cause I was thinking it was Granma. Shame on me. I'm sorry Granma!
Monday, November 1, 2010
Going to Coffee
Karen and I love to meet for coffee. It's our way of catching up and enjoying our friendship of 20 years.
It use to be just Karen and me......but now.......it's Karen , me, and Granma.
Sometimes Karen and I spend the whole day together....shopping......shopping......and more shopping.
Wonder what Granma will think of that?
It use to be just Karen and me......but now.......it's Karen , me, and Granma.
Sometimes Karen and I spend the whole day together....shopping......shopping......and more shopping.
Wonder what Granma will think of that?
Keeping Granma Busy
Monday, October 25, 2010
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
Every night I help Granma get ready for bed. It's a ritual. After she's all washed up I leave her to wipe off the bathroom sink. I anxious waiting for her, so I peeked into the bathroom to see what she was doing. She was looking at herself in the mirror and primping. I watched as she licked the tip of her ring finger and brought it up to her brow then with the finest of strokes smoothed it outward. .....She doesn't have any eyebrows.
I wonder what she sees when she looks in the mirror. Does she see herself as a younger woman?
My other granma, who is 99 years old says, "It's just a habit."
Just a habit?
I watched my Granma as she looked at herself in the mirror.............It makes me wonder.
Same Pictures, Different Day
Granma Marcie has lots of photo albums, lots of boxes filled with pictures, postcards, newspaper clippings. Everyday she sits in her room and looks at pictures.
One day she seemed a bit restless so I asked if she'd like to look at pictures. She said, "No I looked at them yesterday." I pulled out an old box and said, "This is a new one." She was delighted. She sat down in her rocking chair and spent at least an hour going through the old photos.
The pictures weren't new......she'd gone through that box a hundred times before......
Beading with Granma Marcie
I think Granma would sit in front of the T.V. all day long. I don't like that. I didn't let Becky sit in front of the T.V. all day long when she was growing up.....in fact I think I limited the amount of T.V. she watched. I know I monitored what she watched. So I'm thinking....to sit in front of the T.V. all day long...... for anyone, no matter how old they are......or young......isn't a good thing. I know for a fact it isn't a good thing!
When she first came to us, I would read to her at meal times. One day I asked her if she would like me to read to her, and she said "NO" So now I only read a short devotion. Lately, I've been leaving the devotional on the table and after she eats her breakfast, she sits there and reads it for an hour sometimes an hour and a half. That amazes me and I am grateful. But then what? More T.V.?
Saturday, October 23, 2010
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANMA
Today is Granma's birthday. She's 103 years old. This morning as I was helping her get dressed I said, "It's your birthday today." She smiled a big smile and said "You mean today is October 23rd?" Yep! Happy Birthday Granma! She started singing the "Happy Birthday" song. So I joined in and we sang it together. I asked her how old she was. She said she was 24. I looked at her with a goofy weird look and started to laugh. She laughed too. I said, "So you'are 24 today huh?" Then she said, "I'm to old to talk about it". To old to talk about how old you are? Why Granma.....you're 103 today! That's Amazing!
My dad came by today. He came to take Granma out for a while. He leaned close to her ear and wished her happy birthday. She smiled and said "mmmmmhhhhmmm" He asked her hold old she was and she told him, "I'm 73" It's all Good!
My dad came by today. He came to take Granma out for a while. He leaned close to her ear and wished her happy birthday. She smiled and said "mmmmmhhhhmmm" He asked her hold old she was and she told him, "I'm 73" It's all Good!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
GRANMA AND THE DOCTOR
I took Granma to the doctor the other day. As we were waiting in the examining room.....mostly in silence....... all of a sudden.......as if God had opened up the flood gates of heaven........Granma beaks out into song. "I've A Story To Tell To The Nations", "Shall We Gather At The River" and "When We All Get To Heaven". It was fun and really made the time fly by.
When the doctor was done poking and prodding, Granma looked him square in the eyes and put her crooked pointer finger in his face and said, "Who takes care of you?" To which the doctor did not reply. He excused himself from the room and as he was walking out the door.........Granma reached out and patted him on the butt. He didn't flinch, squeek, squeal, turn around.......nothing......he just walked out closing the door behind him. That was it.......... There you have it.......... Done and Dusted...........The exam was over, medicines prescribed........................Ladies and Gentlemen........The Doctor has left the room. Maybe he didn't like our singing?
When the doctor was done poking and prodding, Granma looked him square in the eyes and put her crooked pointer finger in his face and said, "Who takes care of you?" To which the doctor did not reply. He excused himself from the room and as he was walking out the door.........Granma reached out and patted him on the butt. He didn't flinch, squeek, squeal, turn around.......nothing......he just walked out closing the door behind him. That was it.......... There you have it.......... Done and Dusted...........The exam was over, medicines prescribed........................Ladies and Gentlemen........The Doctor has left the room. Maybe he didn't like our singing?
Monday, October 18, 2010
The Walker and The Hot Stove

But.......I still insist she use the walker alllllllllll the time. There's a good reason I insist.......we have a wood stove. The stove is our only source of heat, therefore, it stays hot most of the time. And, the stove is next to the path Granma travels a million times every day. So I think.......that if I keep on her about using the walker, she'll get the idea, and use the walker allllllll the time.
"So I Think" I can tell you right now......I don't think like she thinks. Who knows how a 102 year old Granma thinks? I'll be the first to tell you, if you try to figure it out......you'll make yourself crazy and the Granma crazier. Not that's she's crazy, but........she does have dementia. Now that should be a BIG CLUE. She has dementia.......... Hmmmmmm........ Can you teach a 102 year old Granma something new if she has dementia? I'll answer that question later.
So here's the story: I'm not feeling my 100% joyful, happy self. I want to stay home. I don't want to do to much of anything, I don't even want to do Granma Marcie. Let's face it......I'm cranky, not in a good mood, and not very tolerant.
I was sitting in the living room and I heard a shuffle, shuffle, scuff, scuff.......I looked up and there "she" was......no walker and reaching for the wood stove for balance. I jumped up and I screamed at her, "Don't touch the stove!!!!!!!" but of course it was to late. Her hand lay fully extended on top of the stove. She looked at me like I was "Looney Tunes" and I screamed at her again, "Don't touch the stove!!!!!! Don't ever touch the stove!!!!!" By this time we were face to face and again I screamed at her, "Don't you ever, ever, ever touch the stove!!!!!!!!" and she answered back, "Why? It isn't hot" and she touches it again. I kept on screaming. :( and then she got mad........ touched the stove again, and said, "I have enough sense to know when it's hot"
I went to get the walker and told her, "Use your walker alllllllll the time!!!!!!" Then I left the room.
I should have been so thankful that the stove wasn't hot, but instead I was angry that she wasn't using her walker, irritable, cranky and scared that she touched the stove.
Some time later that familiar sound........ shuffle, shuffle, scuff, scuff..........then.........what's that I hear? roll, roll, roll, roll? ................She's using the walker! Yes a 102 year old Granma can learn new things!
She came into the room sat down in her chair and said, "I'm sorry I got angry with you"
I went to her, knelt down, I put my head in her lap and said, "I'm the one who should be apologizing" and started crying.
Crying?.......... Because, God showed me His love through my Granma. God showed me that even though I knew I should be the one to apologize, I should have gone to her......she came to me. She came to me!!!!!
What she did was amazing to me. What God did through her was truly amazing! My icy heart melted. I saw my own sin and was humbled. Through my 102 year old Granma, God showed His amazing Love.
Trouble comes when I think I'm in control. God showed me the futility of it all by sending my 102 year old Granma with forgiveness I did not deserve.
Forgiveness I did not deserve. Isn't that what Christ did? He came offering forgiveness that we do not deserve.
Granma is still obedient to God's Voice and He, God....... is still using her!
Psalms 143:8
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Friday, October 8, 2010
The Babysitter
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Any way you look at it........the way to the front door is steep.
We made into the house and were warmly greeted by four of the most love-li-est children I have ever known.
I was a little worried about what Granma would do for the few hours we were there babysitting. But not to worry........she watched cartoons with the kids.
I said we were warmly greeted by 4 children......the other two......were downstairs playing video games of course.
I love these kids!
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I was a little worried about what Granma would do for the few hours we were there babysitting. But not to worry........she watched cartoons with the kids.

I love these kids!
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Don't Mind Me
I was cleaning the house today. Got the vacuum out and was zipp'n around, dust'n, clean'n, VACUUMING. AHHMMM GRANMA, I'm vacuuming. Excuse me Granma I need to vacuum. Granma, I need to vacuum in there....between the couch and coffee table Granma.....Pleeeeeease?
This is what she did. Without looking at me once, not a glimpse, not a peek, not even a sneer...she lifted her legs up and put her feet on the table. She never once took her eyes off the book she was reading, just lifted her legs up, kept on reading......as if I was a pesty old fly.
There's just one thing............Granma can't read without her glasses. What a hoot!
Nice Legs
The day Granpa died, he and Granma Marcie were in a motel on one of their little trips. Granpa was sitting in a chair and Granma was doing a little jig for him. The last thing he said was,
"Hmmm you got pretty nice legs for an old gal!"
Then he died.
"Hmmm you got pretty nice legs for an old gal!"
Then he died.
She's still got pretty nice legs for an old gal donchathink?
Friday, September 24, 2010
CLEAN PLAT ER
Granma is a "clean plat er". God bless her. She'll eat everything on her plate. Everything. My dad made us eat everything on our plates when we were kids. I think I know where he got it from....Graaaaaaaaama Marcie. She's the one. It's all her fault. All those nights sitting at the table until my plate was clean. I hated green peas, ham, and brussel sprouts. Oh gag me with a spoon. To even think about brussel sprouts, makes me tremble. But about Granma Marcie. She not only eats everything on her plate, she'll anything I put on her plate. Today she had cottage cheese and peaches on one plate, the other plate had sardines in a cream sauce with crackers on the side, and of course a glass of milk Open the mouth and past the gums......look out stomach, here it comes.
I don't put a whole lot on her plate. Just small portions, then if she wants more she can have more. But usually she won't take seconds. She accuses me of trying to make her fat. That's what she's saying here. "I don't want to get too fat now"
Granma is a "clean plat er". God bless her. She'll eat everything on her plate. Everything. My dad made us eat everything on our plates when we were kids. I think I know where he got it from....Graaaaaaaaama Marcie. She's the one. It's all her fault. All those nights sitting at the table until my plate was clean. I hated green peas, ham, and brussel sprouts. Oh gag me with a spoon. To even think about brussel sprouts, makes me tremble. But about Granma Marcie. She not only eats everything on her plate, she'll anything I put on her plate. Today she had cottage cheese and peaches on one plate, the other plate had sardines in a cream sauce with crackers on the side, and of course a glass of milk Open the mouth and past the gums......look out stomach, here it comes.
Okay Granma, but how 'bout some dessert?"
To which she always says "Okay"
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Meal Time With Marcie and Grace E.
Meal times are fun, sometimes down right funny. It amazes me that Granma still eats with her pinky finger sticking out. You know, like prim and proper. Was it proper to
stick your pinky finger out? I can see it now. A tea party. In cousin Dawns garden. Finest china, silver tea service, "would you like one lump or two?" and Granma Marcie sipping so very lady like with her little pinky finger sticking out. She wears an apron now, all the time because, she isn't a dainty eater or drinker. Maybe in her day she was, but not today. Slurps, Gulps, and Burps right at the table all while that little pinky finger is sticking out.

Then there's Grace E. our Wheaton Terrier. She loves Granma Marcie, especially at meal time. Grace E. is right at Granmas feet, waiting so patiently for the crumbs to fall and boy oh boy do the crumbs fall. Granma can't seem to keep the food on her fork, half of it falls on the floor. Hence Grace E. at Granma's feet. It's like an meal time ritual. Granma shuffles to the table Grace E. waits for Granma to sit down, then Grace E. takes her rightful place under the table at Granmas feet. It's all good. Really it is.
Tonight at the table I asked Granma, "Well, what did you do today Granma?" Oh my goodness I wish I had a picture of her expression. She answered back in a high pitched voice and wrinkled brow, "What did I do ttttttttodaaaaaaay?" "I read my Bible and prayed...what more is there?" "Did you go anywhere?" To which she responded in sort of a disgusted tone because after all she just told me that she read her Bible and prayed all day. But we did go out. She just forgot.
I took her out in her wheel chair. Have Granma. Will travel.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Meet Granma Marcie
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Make Room for Granma
We got back from our vacation Saturday evening and Sunday morning we were making room for Granma Marcie to come live with us. Chuck is incredible. Of course I've always said that about him.....that he's the most incredible man I've ever known. I suppose that's a good thing when a wife can say that about her husband. Anyway....Granma Marcie will be 103 in October. Can you imagine.....103 years old. She's amazing
Before we left on our vacation, we talked about the possibility of Granma coming to live with us. We presented the idea to my folks and they said they would think about it. When we came back, we asked if they had given the offer any consideration, to which they said, they had, and now here she is with us.
Chuck and I went to get her, and her things. We brought her bed and bedding, all her pictures and wall hangings, clothes, toiletries, you know, all the things that make a house a home. She has an old antique bed, I put an antique dressing table with a mirror in there along with a rocking chair she had when she was first married to Granpa Dan, along with all the old pictures she has... I think she was happy. She went into her room and looked around and pointed to a picture of herself and said something like, "Oh, that's a good picture of me" She's a hoot.
Chuck took his big truck to load up all of Granma's things......it has "Chuck's Window Cleaning" written all over it. Granma and I were following. She pointed to his truck and said "There goes Chuck" Yep Granma there he goes. Then she asked me "Who's Chuck's wife?" I said "I'm Chuck's wife" and she said "You're Chuck's wife?" and I said "yep" She smiled and didn't say any more about that until bed time. I was tucking her in and she got this little twinkle in her eye, she smiled and sort of chuckeled, putting her finger on my nose she said "I'm glad you're Chuck's wife and by the way where's my teefees?" I can't help but smile. I told her they were in the bathroom. She said she thought she might need them. So we went back into the bathroom and got her teefees. TEEFEES? .......False Teeth......
The dinner I fixed tonight wasn't very good. Chuck was disappointed and I felt bad. Granma didn't seem to mind, she cleaned her plate. I told her Chuck didn't like the meatloaf and she laughed. I'm glad she can still laugh. She doesn't say a whole lot and when she does talk it's pretty hard to understand, she slurrs her words and babbles. But there are moments when she is as clear as a bell. I love those times.
My friend brought over a wheel chair today. My new motto.....Have Granma will travel. It's a heavy wheel chair. I mean H.E.A.V.Y. but I got that sucker in the trunk of my car. A few months back dad and I went to Cabellas and Granma Marcie was with us. Dad put her in one of their wheel chairs and she was loving it. She waved at everyone. It was like she was the queen of a parade. She likes to go, so do I. I'm thinking having her here could be an adventure for both of us. I can hardly wait to see what tomorrow brings.
Before we left on our vacation, we talked about the possibility of Granma coming to live with us. We presented the idea to my folks and they said they would think about it. When we came back, we asked if they had given the offer any consideration, to which they said, they had, and now here she is with us.
Chuck and I went to get her, and her things. We brought her bed and bedding, all her pictures and wall hangings, clothes, toiletries, you know, all the things that make a house a home. She has an old antique bed, I put an antique dressing table with a mirror in there along with a rocking chair she had when she was first married to Granpa Dan, along with all the old pictures she has... I think she was happy. She went into her room and looked around and pointed to a picture of herself and said something like, "Oh, that's a good picture of me" She's a hoot.
Chuck took his big truck to load up all of Granma's things......it has "Chuck's Window Cleaning" written all over it. Granma and I were following. She pointed to his truck and said "There goes Chuck" Yep Granma there he goes. Then she asked me "Who's Chuck's wife?" I said "I'm Chuck's wife" and she said "You're Chuck's wife?" and I said "yep" She smiled and didn't say any more about that until bed time. I was tucking her in and she got this little twinkle in her eye, she smiled and sort of chuckeled, putting her finger on my nose she said "I'm glad you're Chuck's wife and by the way where's my teefees?" I can't help but smile. I told her they were in the bathroom. She said she thought she might need them. So we went back into the bathroom and got her teefees. TEEFEES? .......False Teeth......
The dinner I fixed tonight wasn't very good. Chuck was disappointed and I felt bad. Granma didn't seem to mind, she cleaned her plate. I told her Chuck didn't like the meatloaf and she laughed. I'm glad she can still laugh. She doesn't say a whole lot and when she does talk it's pretty hard to understand, she slurrs her words and babbles. But there are moments when she is as clear as a bell. I love those times.
My friend brought over a wheel chair today. My new motto.....Have Granma will travel. It's a heavy wheel chair. I mean H.E.A.V.Y. but I got that sucker in the trunk of my car. A few months back dad and I went to Cabellas and Granma Marcie was with us. Dad put her in one of their wheel chairs and she was loving it. She waved at everyone. It was like she was the queen of a parade. She likes to go, so do I. I'm thinking having her here could be an adventure for both of us. I can hardly wait to see what tomorrow brings.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
The Eeyore Syndrome
I read a book....The Tao of Pooh. I loved that book. It reminded me of the Christian books I read. about personalities....you know the kind..... to determine what personality type you are? Well the Pooh book was sort of like that. At that time in my life I tagged myself as "Tigger" self centered, self absorbed,self, self, self. It was all about me..... Today, as of late, gears have shifted and I'm sorry to report I am Eeyore....
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Note to Self
Note to Self:
If I'm going to talk about the scary things and feel the sadness, that's all good. But not everybody is going to feel the same way I do or want to deal with granma's cancer the way I do. So then what? If I want to talk and they don't.......what then?......Is it going to make me crazy that they don't want to talk or feel? Yep, it's going to make me crazy. So if I know this going in.......what can I do to help myself? That's a good question, doncha think? Yes indeedy I think that is a respectable question. When people don't act, say, or think they way I think they should.......then what? Then sista......GROW UP! OOOOOOOOOUCH, that was harsh. No...that was the voice of a distant counselor.
It's not about me is it? Now there's a thought! A life lesson I'm trying to grab hold of and hang onto. It's a bit elusive though. Hard to hold onto. Sort of like that greased up pig I read about as a kid. Non-the-less a good thing to remember.
If I'm going to talk about the scary things and feel the sadness, that's all good. But not everybody is going to feel the same way I do or want to deal with granma's cancer the way I do. So then what? If I want to talk and they don't.......what then?......Is it going to make me crazy that they don't want to talk or feel? Yep, it's going to make me crazy. So if I know this going in.......what can I do to help myself? That's a good question, doncha think? Yes indeedy I think that is a respectable question. When people don't act, say, or think they way I think they should.......then what? Then sista......GROW UP! OOOOOOOOOUCH, that was harsh. No...that was the voice of a distant counselor.
It's not about me is it? Now there's a thought! A life lesson I'm trying to grab hold of and hang onto. It's a bit elusive though. Hard to hold onto. Sort of like that greased up pig I read about as a kid. Non-the-less a good thing to remember.
Feel The Sadness
I had a best friend, years and years ago.....my best friend in the whole wide world.....she died of cancer.....I was there through it all. That was sad. Really sad. Really, really sad....but I didn't cry. I was numb. Wouldn't let myself feel the pain. My mantra was I'm fine, I'm fine . I wasn't fine, but I didn't know it.
I had another friend, a dear, dear friend.....she died of Lupus. I was with her when she died. I let myself feel the pain when she died, and to this very day I still think of her and miss her terribly.
My grandmother has cancer. There is no treatment. But nobody will say how long she has to live or how quickly it will spread. My husband says nobody knows for sure and I say....... but isn't that the question everybody asks? Aren't we suppose to ask "What's the prognosis?" And he tells me "Only God knows for sure." and I think to myself "yep that's right....only God knows for sure." Is it really important to know "how long"? Maybe a person has to get their life in order...... Or maybe get their business settled. I'm sure there are things........an urgency one feels when they know the time is near. Do I know that for sure? I've only heard it told in books and movies. I don't know for sure.
I don't want to hide my feelings I don't want to ever deal with death the way I did years and years ago. It was cold and scary. I divorced myself from ever feeling the sting of her death. I divorced myself from her family and anything associated with her life. When she died, she became a memory and ceased being an important part of my life.
Loved ones can still be important parts of a persons life even when they're gone. I caught a glimpse of that when my other friend died of Lupus. There were things I couldn't do.....but.....I allowed myself to feel the sting of her death, heal from that, and hold on to the precious memories which were and still are, important parts of my life today.
My grandmother has cancer. She is going to die.....probably soon. How do we prepare for that? Let's feel the sadness, and talk about the things that are scary. Then with God's mercy and grace pray for the strength to love each other through this difficult time.
This time I'm going to cry. I'm going to feel the sadness.
There is a good thing...... A great thing that can happen through all of this.......I'm going to love with a happy heart. Love her with a happy heart all the way to heaven. There is comfort in knowing that!
Thanking God for His Great Plan of Salvation!
See ya in Heaven Granma!
I had another friend, a dear, dear friend.....she died of Lupus. I was with her when she died. I let myself feel the pain when she died, and to this very day I still think of her and miss her terribly.
My grandmother has cancer. There is no treatment. But nobody will say how long she has to live or how quickly it will spread. My husband says nobody knows for sure and I say....... but isn't that the question everybody asks? Aren't we suppose to ask "What's the prognosis?" And he tells me "Only God knows for sure." and I think to myself "yep that's right....only God knows for sure." Is it really important to know "how long"? Maybe a person has to get their life in order...... Or maybe get their business settled. I'm sure there are things........an urgency one feels when they know the time is near. Do I know that for sure? I've only heard it told in books and movies. I don't know for sure.
I don't want to hide my feelings I don't want to ever deal with death the way I did years and years ago. It was cold and scary. I divorced myself from ever feeling the sting of her death. I divorced myself from her family and anything associated with her life. When she died, she became a memory and ceased being an important part of my life.
Loved ones can still be important parts of a persons life even when they're gone. I caught a glimpse of that when my other friend died of Lupus. There were things I couldn't do.....but.....I allowed myself to feel the sting of her death, heal from that, and hold on to the precious memories which were and still are, important parts of my life today.
My grandmother has cancer. She is going to die.....probably soon. How do we prepare for that? Let's feel the sadness, and talk about the things that are scary. Then with God's mercy and grace pray for the strength to love each other through this difficult time.
This time I'm going to cry. I'm going to feel the sadness.
There is a good thing...... A great thing that can happen through all of this.......I'm going to love with a happy heart. Love her with a happy heart all the way to heaven. There is comfort in knowing that!
Thanking God for His Great Plan of Salvation!
See ya in Heaven Granma!
Three Levels. Four People.
There is a family I know about...the story goes something like this;
One house. Three levels. Four people. The very bottom level is where the mothers live. The middle level is strictly utilitarian, holding the kitchen, dining room and living room. The upper level is where the husband and wife live. So you've got the husband and wife caring for each of their mothers who live with them. Did I mention the husband is 81, the wife 76 ,mother#1 is 99 and mother #2 is 103 ? Oh......the wife does all the care giving for both mothers. The husband plays golf every day......except Saturdays and Sundays.....except when there's a tournament.
Did I mention the husband/son doesn't like his mother?
Oh, did I mention mother #2 doesn't like the sons mother either?
And by the way the wife.......she never did like the mother.
Now there's are reasons why one doesn't like the other.....it goes way back to when the son was growing up.
He tells that his mother made him eat "mush" for breakfast everyday, made him wear knickers to school when all the other boys wore blue jeans and whopped him on a regular basis just for good measure. He got socks and underware for Christmas when all he wanted was a Tonka Truck. He says of himself, he was 4'11 as a senior in high school, a scrawny little kid and he blames his mother for it all.
Now the wife doesn't like the mother because the mother never really accepted her. The mother thought her son, the husband, should have married ole whatshername instead, and so treats the wife with disrespect.
Now the other mother.....the wifes mother, who has lived with the husband and wife for over 20 years, has some resentments going on towards the husbands mother. It started long time ago not sure when exactly but......let me tell you when this ole girl gets a resentment she's like a dog on a bone. Something happend years ago that mother #2 never forgave mother #1 for.
Then.......the real kicker is this......when the husbands mother came to live with them. It was an unexpected thing, something that had to be done but whoda thunk...... The house is already pretty crowded. Now they have to make room for his mother. So some remodeling happens, furniture is moved in, and lives are interrupted. It's an inconvenience but hey, it had to be done. Nobody really likes the situation but.....it had to be done.
Now with two old mothers living with them the retired husband and wife are faced with another dilema. How do they live a retired life?....if they want to take a trip, who will take care of the mothers? The wife is basically confined to the home caring for both mothers, and the husband stays out of everyones way and plays golf every day. Three times a year or so the husband sends the wife off to visit the grandkids.The wifes mother usually goes and stays with her son who is very capable of caring for his mother for a short time. So that leaves the husband home alone to care for his own mother. Now how doyathink that works out?
The husband and wife finally got someone to come in and help. Help with bathing one of the mothers and cleaning their rooms, some laundry and other little things around the house but the burden really is solely on the wife.
Asked why not put them in a home the wife says......I just can't. Not yet. It's not time.
I'm told this has been going on for years.....I mean......multiple years. I've heard stories before of children taking care of their parents.....but this one is for the books.
One house. Three levels. Four people. The very bottom level is where the mothers live. The middle level is strictly utilitarian, holding the kitchen, dining room and living room. The upper level is where the husband and wife live. So you've got the husband and wife caring for each of their mothers who live with them. Did I mention the husband is 81, the wife 76 ,mother#1 is 99 and mother #2 is 103 ? Oh......the wife does all the care giving for both mothers. The husband plays golf every day......except Saturdays and Sundays.....except when there's a tournament.
Did I mention the husband/son doesn't like his mother?
Oh, did I mention mother #2 doesn't like the sons mother either?
And by the way the wife.......she never did like the mother.
Now there's are reasons why one doesn't like the other.....it goes way back to when the son was growing up.
He tells that his mother made him eat "mush" for breakfast everyday, made him wear knickers to school when all the other boys wore blue jeans and whopped him on a regular basis just for good measure. He got socks and underware for Christmas when all he wanted was a Tonka Truck. He says of himself, he was 4'11 as a senior in high school, a scrawny little kid and he blames his mother for it all.
Now the wife doesn't like the mother because the mother never really accepted her. The mother thought her son, the husband, should have married ole whatshername instead, and so treats the wife with disrespect.
Now the other mother.....the wifes mother, who has lived with the husband and wife for over 20 years, has some resentments going on towards the husbands mother. It started long time ago not sure when exactly but......let me tell you when this ole girl gets a resentment she's like a dog on a bone. Something happend years ago that mother #2 never forgave mother #1 for.
Then.......the real kicker is this......when the husbands mother came to live with them. It was an unexpected thing, something that had to be done but whoda thunk...... The house is already pretty crowded. Now they have to make room for his mother. So some remodeling happens, furniture is moved in, and lives are interrupted. It's an inconvenience but hey, it had to be done. Nobody really likes the situation but.....it had to be done.
Now with two old mothers living with them the retired husband and wife are faced with another dilema. How do they live a retired life?....if they want to take a trip, who will take care of the mothers? The wife is basically confined to the home caring for both mothers, and the husband stays out of everyones way and plays golf every day. Three times a year or so the husband sends the wife off to visit the grandkids.The wifes mother usually goes and stays with her son who is very capable of caring for his mother for a short time. So that leaves the husband home alone to care for his own mother. Now how doyathink that works out?
The husband and wife finally got someone to come in and help. Help with bathing one of the mothers and cleaning their rooms, some laundry and other little things around the house but the burden really is solely on the wife.
Asked why not put them in a home the wife says......I just can't. Not yet. It's not time.
I'm told this has been going on for years.....I mean......multiple years. I've heard stories before of children taking care of their parents.....but this one is for the books.
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