A Heart For Granma

I've been praying for God to fix my heart.  When it comes to taking care of Granma sometimes my hearts just not in it.  The thing about that.... It only hurts me. She never complains.  Seems like I'm the one doing all the complaining and I notice it when I do it and I don't like it. So I pray change my heart.

You know taking care of Granma has really been pretty easy, considering how much worse it could be. When she moved in she was walking pretty good, able to get herself up out of bed, out of chairs, she could get up and move from room to room anytime she wanted mostly without my help or supervision.  I could go into the office and leave her in the family room. I didn't have to watch her like a hawk.  Sure there were inconveniences, I'd have my grumpy days, stinky attitudes and little pity parties....that's why I was praying for God to change my heart. Some might think I'm entitled, justified, a privilege that goes along with being a caregiver.

In the past month it has been increasingly difficult for her to walk, she doesn't seem to be able to put one foot in front of the other very well, and so when she walks she gets her legs tangled up and stumbles.  She is getting weaker and having a harder time getting herself up out of a chair. She's  getting more "dementiated"(is that a word?) and is now incontinent with her bowels.

I realized I was sporting a disgustingly ugly attitude as I was attending to a disgustingly stinky incident, harboring more than a few resentments and wishing not nice things on Granma.  I was struck with a thought;  People had disgustingly ugly attitudes towards Jesus and wished not nice things on Him, but He never complained and loved all so perfectly.

I started a word search in the Bible. I searched for "Heart".  My intention? To make a list of scriptures and put them on the bathroom mirror.  Having "The Word" in front of me is a good reminder.

This morning  the rubber met the road.

Granma fell.  She didn't hurt herself, but she fell doing something she has been doing without any trouble up until now.

 Granma is now in a wheelchair.  I can no longer leave her alone in a room.

The Lesson and The Choice:
With God all things are possible! Resentment or Peace?   I choose Peace!

Pray for us!
SQ