THE BIG FALL - Part 1 of Granma's Last Days

On April 6, 2011 Grama fell and broke her hip. It was bed time. We were in the bathroom doing the things you do before you go to bed; I stepped across the hall into Gramas room to pull the covers down on her bed…..   when out of the bathroom she came....just like every other night.... except this time her little legs gave out and down she went. It happened just that fast.... She cried out.  We weren't sure what part of her was hurt. It was a very anxious moment.  Grama crying, Chuck and I trying to determine where she was hurt, and she not able to communicate to us where the pain was coming from.  We decided to move her from the floor of the hallway to her bed and then we called 911.  The ambulance came.  The Medics put her on the gurney and wheeled out the door.  Chuck and I followed them to the hospital.  The next day she had surgery.  She was recovering quite nicely so on April 12th she went to the Nursing Home for re-hab.  On April 25 I noticed a gurgling while Grama breathed.  Chest x-rays were ordered...Grama had pneumonia…..  pneumonia from aspirating her food.  On April 27 the order came "Nothing by Mouth" and on May 1st, she died. 

Those are the facts but so much more happened.  Like.............

When Grama was in the hospital.  

The hospital staff was coming in and going out of Grama's room so quickly. I know I should be asking questions, but I don't know what to ask. ...I’m Grama’s advocate. I’m supposed to know what to do, what questions to ask.  I felt like I should know everything, yet I knew nothing. I felt so helpless.

I was reading about King David and Saul.  I asked myself “How different are you  from Saul?" and then asked "How much do you want to be like David?"  The answer was pretty clear. 

Not to long ago, Chuck asked "Why do people raise their hands to God?"  I looked up some passages.  The first reference I could find about the lifting up of hands was in Gen 14:22 Abraham lifted up his hand to the Lord in taking a solemn oath.  It was an appeal or a testimony to the TRUTH. In Gen 48:14 hands were used to bless....later on God had Moses stretch out his hand when Israel was being delivered from the plagues and then in the Psalms it talks about lifting up my hands unto the Lord.  I read, raising our hands is like, reaching up as a child reaches up to its parent...and it also serves as a means of blessing Him. So thinking about David....how his enemies chased him, how he felt defeated and cried out to God....and how God routed the enemy.  How God brought down thunder and lightning....The mighty Hand of My God....who fights and defends His own. I prayed, God please keep Grama in peace and comfort.  Keep the enemies of confussion, and fear far far away from her. then I realized that this was the exact place where God wanted me…. a place where I had no control.  My part was to “trust” “rest” and “commit” to God.

Then Rosa came into Grama’s room….  Rosa, the nurse.  She reminded me to “be still” I thought, “Be still and know that I am God”.  She said relax it will all work out, and I thought, “For we know that all things work together for the good……”

She reminded that  Jesus, said to his disciples…..”When you did it to the least of these you have done it unto me.”   Rosa said, “ See Jesus in Grama.”

 That was a glorious day! 

I want to praise you Lord for your goodness to us

I want to praise you Lord for your mercies to us.

I want to praise you Lord for your faithfulness to us

I want to praise you Lord for loving us.

For there is no greater goodness, faithfulness or love than yours.

You see us oh Lord as we sit in this room. 

You hear Grama’s silent prayers.

You clam her fearful and anxious heart.

Does she know what is going on?

No matter Lord

 she knows You are the Great Physician, healer and lover of her soul.

 In that she finds her comfort.  In your arms she rests and is at peace.

Oh praise you almighty and merciful God for you are Great.

Until next time. 

Susie

A Heart For Granma

I've been praying for God to fix my heart.  When it comes to taking care of Granma sometimes my hearts just not in it.  The thing about that.... It only hurts me. She never complains.  Seems like I'm the one doing all the complaining and I notice it when I do it and I don't like it. So I pray change my heart.

You know taking care of Granma has really been pretty easy, considering how much worse it could be. When she moved in she was walking pretty good, able to get herself up out of bed, out of chairs, she could get up and move from room to room anytime she wanted mostly without my help or supervision.  I could go into the office and leave her in the family room. I didn't have to watch her like a hawk.  Sure there were inconveniences, I'd have my grumpy days, stinky attitudes and little pity parties....that's why I was praying for God to change my heart. Some might think I'm entitled, justified, a privilege that goes along with being a caregiver.

In the past month it has been increasingly difficult for her to walk, she doesn't seem to be able to put one foot in front of the other very well, and so when she walks she gets her legs tangled up and stumbles.  She is getting weaker and having a harder time getting herself up out of a chair. She's  getting more "dementiated"(is that a word?) and is now incontinent with her bowels.

I realized I was sporting a disgustingly ugly attitude as I was attending to a disgustingly stinky incident, harboring more than a few resentments and wishing not nice things on Granma.  I was struck with a thought;  People had disgustingly ugly attitudes towards Jesus and wished not nice things on Him, but He never complained and loved all so perfectly.

I started a word search in the Bible. I searched for "Heart".  My intention? To make a list of scriptures and put them on the bathroom mirror.  Having "The Word" in front of me is a good reminder.

This morning  the rubber met the road.

Granma fell.  She didn't hurt herself, but she fell doing something she has been doing without any trouble up until now.

 Granma is now in a wheelchair.  I can no longer leave her alone in a room.

The Lesson and The Choice:
With God all things are possible! Resentment or Peace?   I choose Peace!

Pray for us!
SQ

The Hair Bonnet

This hair bonnet was in a drawer.  We haven't used this hair bonnet for a long time.  We haven't even seen this hair bonnet.  Then one day.....here comes Granma, with the hair bonnet on.  Now I don't care if she wears the hair bonnet.  Goahead and wear the hair bonnet Granma, if that's what floats your boat, go for it.
But now we're on day three.  Okay, even three days of hair bonnet, no big deal, but I'm tell'n you.....It's the hair bonnet morning, noon and night.  She goes to bed with the hair bonnet on.  She gets up with the hair bonnet on, she goes through the day with the hair bonnet on.  We're going to church tomorrow......hair bonnet or no hair bonnet, that is the question.
For sure she won't be wearing the hair bonnet to church, the trick is how to get it off and away from her with out retaliation.  I know....when we get undressed and I'm pulling the shirts over her head (shirts, plural, because she tries to wears 3 or four of them at one time) amazingly the hair bonnet will come off and magically disappear." Hmmmmmm Granma, I don't know what happened to your hair bonnet."

THE END.  :)  Life is Good!

The Other Babysitters

I was under the impress that when Granma and I go to babysit, "I'm" the babysitter.  Turns out, the kids are too.  Before Granma and I get there, the kids have made a thorough inspection of the floor, making sure there is no debris laying around that might cause Granam to trip and fall.  The pathway to the chair Granma sits in is always clear and the chair is positioned just so....so Granma can just "PLOP" down into it. Sara, got a new dolly for Christmas. She brought it out for Granma to see.  Then Sara asked Granma, "Granma would you like to hold her?"  Look at Granmas face.  She held that dolly for a long time.

Sara wanted to read Granma a story,  so she scooted a chair next to Granma, put the book on Granma's lap and started telling the story. Sara's 4.

Joe likes to sit on Granmas walker and be pushed around, and Ben and Andrew are the alert "dogs"  When Granma starts to get up from her chair they'll let me know "Granma's up" in their big boy voices.  Sometimes Ben helps Granma move around the house, and  get up out of her chair.  They let her know when it's lunch time and time to pray.

Granma doesn't hear very well and so I use a big voice myself when I speak to her.  One day Sara told me, "Mrs. Cloyd, don't you think that was a little too loud?"  They are protective of her!  And I'm reminded, once again, that a little tenderness can go a long way.

I love these children.   I'm blessed by having them in my life.  I think Granma is too.

A NEW YEAR

It's 2011. Granma's 103. Healthy. Not taking any meds. Still able to get around with the help of her trusty walker. Eats good.  Sleeps.....well there's the thing.  I suppose her sleeping pattern could be worse. She gets up as many as 4 times a night, but that isn't every night.  Some nights she's only up twice.  That's really the norm....twice a night.  And what does she do when she gets up? Well lots of things.  Sometimes she gets dressed ....fully dressed, socks, shoes, the whole bit, then gets back into bed.  Sometimes she goes to the bathroom, potties and primps. Other times she wanders from family room, dining room,  living room back to the bedroom.  She has "sundowners"  I'm so glad I learned what that was. When she first came to us I didn't have a clue. Her behaviors got weird around 3 o'clock every day.  She started getting edgy, fidgety, restless.  She'd start moving around the house, from family room, to dining room , to living room over and over again.  Finally, like, the last ditch effort,  she'd head for her bedroom. It was like she was saying, "enough of this roving around stuff. I'm going to bed"  but it was only 4 o'clock.  I suppose I could let her go to bed but I was thinking, that if she went to bed now she'd be up  all  night and into the wee hours of the morning. The deal is.....if Gramas up......I'm up.   So I wouldn't let her go to bed.  That  is an executive decision and I'm stick'n to it. I've learned that if I    tell her we have to eat dinner first.....before we go to bed....for some reason that seems to calm her down.
Chuck and I talk about how she processes or doesn't process things. What parts of her brain are working and what parts aren't.  How she sees herself and us.  Does she know where she is?  Does she think she's a young woman? How much can she hear? Sometimes we think she can hear it all and other times we think she can't hear a thing. Is she play'n us?  How do you know?
Granma......what's going on up there in your head?
I better stay away from that one.  Being in my own head is bad enough.
Happy new year everyone.

The Magic Slippers

Granma got a nice Christmas gift from her Granddaughter. She sent Granm a cozy blanket, a pair of gloves and the "magic slippers".  I'm calling them magic because she was able to get them on her feet. 


Now mind you.....the slippers were a bit on the small size but that did not deter Granma. Nope. As I sat there watching her push and prod her size 8 foot into the size 5 slipper I mentioned that they might be to small.  Hmmmmm....I'm think'n that was the wrong thing to say.  Why?  I got the "Look" and a garbled but  emphatic statement...something like...."NOOOOOO they aren't"


With all the umph she could muster...... finally........the magic slipper was on.  
Now for the other one.

It all reminded me of Cinderella.  Not to say that Granma is one of the ugly stepsisters.  But I'm just say'n.


I'm just say'n......It's all Good!  Granma walked like a princess to her room and went to bed with her magic slippers on.

CHOCOLATY DELICACIES

Granma got some Christmas gifts.  Have I mentioned she has a sweet tooth?  Nooooo.... I mean a REAL sweet tooth?  If she could, I'm sure she'd eat sweets in any shape, size or form all day long. She got some Frango's and  are they ever yummy.  She's able to pop those in her mouth, no problem.  Well......getting the cellophane wrapping off poses a slight problem, but not enough to discourage the Mighty Sweet Tooth Granma.  No sir she'd eat that whole box of Frangos in one day if I let her. Now the other candies she received.....well lets just say she's a bit more choosy about which selection she makes from the assorted confectioneries. Here's her fool proof testing method.....She makes a selection, puts it between her pointer finger and thumb and gives it a good 'ole squeeze.  If it doesn't smush  she puts it back in the box and tries for one that does....smush, that is. I have a pretty good sweet tooth myself but after Granma's  tried to smush up every piece of candy in the box I think I'll just step on back and let her have her way with those chocolaty delicacies.